A Tribute To: Dragonforce

While C and I are sorting through the nearly 3,000 pictures we took (I am a terrible photographer so I usually take 3-5 shots to get one decent picture.) I thought I would put up a short post on why the metal band Dragonforce just might be the best band since KC and the Sunshine Band.

• Two Words- hair metal.
• Their name is Dragonforce, which as any physicist will tell you, is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. The only force which may come close is the Double-Dog Dare.*
• The lead singer sings in a manly counter-tenor. No sissy falsetto for him!
• At six members they have 1/17th as many members as the Wu-Tang Clan. (which ain`t nothin to #$%& with!)
• Band membership is more international then a Unicef committee.
• They are single-handedly bringing back the Keytaur, a tragic victim of the `80s.
• Super-nintendo inspired melodies and sound effects? check and double check!
• Their songs are between 5 and 7 minutes usually. Radioplayability be damned!
• If you listen carefully, you can actually hear the guitarist`s fingers break the sound barrier.
• The drummer is intent on committing suicide by self-inflicted heart-attack while playing the double-bass.
• The lead singer`s hair reminds one of Weird Al, seven time winner of the sexiest man in the universe competition.
• Their hit songs are more samey then Willy Nelson`s. (It is ironic that people point this out as a negative. Especially since usually the ones that do so don’t like Dragonforce because they dont sound just like Slipknot or Cannibal Corpse. In reality, people like having the same stuff again and again. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have a Mcdonalds on every street corner and you would have to go to Seattle to find Starbucks. But I am pontificating again.)
• And best of all- it pisses of legions of metal-geeks who scream “Its not real heavy metal!” to which I say, just about anything that pisses other people off makes me happy.

Sorry, I have to stop myself before I get started on “underground” music. I do not need the blood-pressure spike. I am trying to relax to even out my sleep cycle again. As an insomniac who normally sleeps about six hours a day, my sleep schedule is easily disrupted. I was up for 40 ish hours coming back from Europe, then I slept for 14, then I was up for 12, slept for 2, then up for 18 hours, then slept for 10.

On the plus side, however, insomnia gives me plenty of time to work on my plans for world conquest.

*While doing research for this article, I pressed a ph.d candidate in physics as to which force is actually stronger, the Dragonforce or the Double Dog Dare. He replied that as far as science is concerned, that is a question best left up to the gods and philosophers, being beyond the ken of mortal men.