The Return of the Yokozuna

Yesterday Mongolian born Yokozuna(Grand Champion Sumo wrestler), Asashoryu returned to Japan.  He also offered his formal apologies for the actions that led to his suspension.

This story begins a few months ago when Asashoryu neglected his duties as Yokozuna, avoiding an exhibition tour, claiming that he needed medical treatment and rest for an injured elbow and a stress fracture in his lower back.

Apparently part of his medical treatment included playing soccer with Japanese professional player in front of TV cameras in a charity event in Mongolia.  Asashoryu later claimed that he had only done so at the request of the Mongolian government and the Japanese Foreign Ministry.

The Sumo Association didn’t buy that story, however, and banned him from the August and November tournaments, marking the first time in the sport’s lengthy history that a Yokozuna has been banned from a main tournament.  His movements were also restricted by the Sumo Association to his home, the hospital, and his training stable.

In a decidedly Britteny Spears like twist to the story, he was diagnosed with acute stress disorder and dissociative order, and was then allowed to return to Mongolia for treatment.

All I can say is at least he wasn’t murdering pit bulls or ex-wives unlike other famous athletes I could mention.

Asashoryu is no stranger to scandal.  Before he was promoted to Yokozuna, he was known to yell or complain after losing matches, something that is very taboo in the formal atmosphere of a sumo match.  Also in July tournament of 2003 Asashoryu pulled the hair of his opponent, which resulted in his immediate disqualification.  He has also been accused of breaking a mirror of a rival’s car. 

Unfortunately these scandals only serve to tarnish the career of what otherwise would be one of the greatest wrestlers Sumo has seen in its 700 year history. 

Sumo Explained, or the Joys of Fat Men Bumping into Each Other.

A dirt circle. Two hugely fat men dressed in diapers. Another guy that looks like he just stepped out of a Harry Potter movie. What is this? Ah yes, the sport of Sumo. The only sport listed in the top 10 of greatest things ever.

Sumo in its modern form is about 700 years old, originating as a Shinto (Japan’s native religion) ritual for the Fox god. The modern sport still retains many of the original rituals. The objective is simple, to throw your opponent out of the ring, or make him touch the ground with a part of his body other then the soles of his feet.

Sumo is divided into professional and amateur divisions. There are no weight divisions. Sumo tournaments are held every other month and run 15 days each. A professional wrestler will compete every day, amateurs, every other day. The typical sumo wrestler begins full time training at the age of fifteen, as high school is not compulsory in Japan.

Ranks in sumo are very fluid. After each tournament, a committee examines each wrestler. In a tournament, a record of 8-7 means that the rikishi`s standing can improve. A record of 7-8 means the rikishi`s standing can drop. If he improves enough his record enough, he can advance to a higher rank. If he maintains a poor enough record, his rank can drop. The only stationary rank is the highest- yokozuna. yokozunas that cant perform consistently well any longer are encouraged to retire. Everyone else, however, rises and falls with their standings based primarily on the last few tournaments. Rise high enough or fall far enough and the wrestler may even switch between the professional and amateur rankings. The bottom of the professional rankings makes about $150,000 a year. The top of the amateur rankings makes $15,000 a year. Professional wrestlers get to spend their time out side of training eating, drinking, and making love to beautiful women. Amateurs spend their time cleaning and cooking and washing those many hard to reach nether regions the professional rikishi in their stable.

This combined with the fact there is no off season creates a tremendous amount of stress on the rikishi. In other combative sports, the participants get the chance to reach peak physical condition. In sumo, with its bi-monthly tournaments, rikishi can never rest or stop training. Turf-toe? Dislocations? You train. Just had surgery? Other athletes would get the rest of the season off, and nearly a year to heal. A rikishi might get two or three months. Many simply cannot handle the constant physical and mental stress. It is not uncommon to hear that a rikishi has run off and joined a cult. Asashoryu, the senior Yokozuna, is himself in the midst of a Britney Spears type melt down. No shaving of heads or pierced nipples yet, but he seems determined to ruin his career, even though he may be (have been?) one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

Winning a tournament is simply a matter of winning a greater number of matches then anyone else. If there is a tie at the end of the last day, a simple tie-breaker match is held. The winner gets such fabulous prizes as several hundred kilograms of rice, a hundred kilos of beef, and a variety of fresh produce. No, I am not kidding. I am not certain what one does with enough agricultural products to feed an average family for a few years. Wrestlers are fat but jeez….

Yokozuna, is not “The Champion” per se (though the title does translate to “grand champion”) but simply the highest rank of rikishi. Yokozuna, as mentioned before is the only set rank. Once a wrestler is promoted to Yokozuna, the only way out is retirement. The criteria for being promoted to Yokozuna is as difficult as it is simple- win two consecutive tournaments while holding the rank of Ozeki. He also has to have a suitable character. This last bit was used to prevent Konishiki Yasokichi (Hawaiian born Samoan Saleva`a Fuauli Atisano`e) from ascending to the ultimate rank- he would have been the first non-Japanese Yokozuna in history. Konishiki is what most people think of when they think of sumo wrestlers. At a slim, trim, and svelte 600 lbs he was the heaviest rikishi ever, and nearly double the weight of an average wrestler.

The next highest rank is that of “Ozeki” and while this translates to “champion” it does not require winning a single tournament. Why? I do not know. I think the Japanese enjoy making things difficult for the sake of making things difficult.

Here’s a video of Ama (Mongolia, 215 lbs) vs. Baruto (Estonia, 379 lbs)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPqQDKxRrfg

Ama, though the smallest professionally ranked Rikishi, is very successful and tends to bounce around the middling professional ranks. As you can see, there is no weight divisions whatsoever in Sumo. So back when Konishiki (the big Samoan) was competing, he frequently was facing opponents less then half his size.

Here is the very popular Takamisakari (Japan). People love him because hes a little undersized for a rikishi, he has a very boyish personality, and the fact that he is myopic, and virtually blind in the ring. The biggest reason however, is he marches like a robot in and out of the ring, beats the crap out of himself just before the match begins and generally acts like a complete dork.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMKoDmi6fxo

Here’s a full clip. These guys are low rank nobodies, so they do not get as much time to prepare. The leg lift and arm thing is to show they aren’t carrying any weapons into the match. The salt and the stomping is to purify the ring. The waving of arms and displaying their crotch is to show they aren’t concealing any weapons. Higher ranked rikishi get more time to try and psych each other out. They also get to wipe their armpits with a towel and then rub their face in it. I think they use the smell to try and drive themselves into a berserk rage. I could be wrong, however.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvHpXRnM250

One thing that you may notice is that the referee does not start the match. The two wrestlers themselves, supposedly when all four hands are touching the ground at the same time. In practice, however, this is rarely the case and jumping the gun is fairly common.

If there is interest I will delve deeper into that king of sports- Sumo.