Or maybe you do.
But not the hot jail-bait “Hit me baby one more time” version of Britney Spears (hereafter referred to as B.S. for short) But the drug addled, waddling-around-aimlessly at the 2007 MTV music award B.S.
That’s right. I am talking about the greatest threat to national security since the George W. Bush decided to run for President. I am talking, of course, about butt cleavage.
Sure, on a few women, low rise jeans with exposed derriere can be most sexah. But given the obesity problem in the U.S. chances are, it is not you. Here is a quick test to see if you are one of the few lucky individuals who can show off some butt cleavage without reminding everyone they meet of the plumber who came over to fix their poop chutes last week. (Not that I have anything against plumbers, I am thankful for the fruits of their labors every time I make a deposit at the Porcelain Bank and Trust. I am saying, however, that they should not be on the leading edge of fashion.)
- Do you wear granny panties?
- Do you wear clothes larger then a size 4?
- Do you have to lie down on your bed to button your jeans?
- Do you shop at The Gap?
- Do you shop at Hot Topic?
- Do you wear a thong?
- Do you attend high school?
- Have you finished college?
- Are you not a professional model?
- Are you not a professional actress?
- Are you not a professional singer?
- Do you wear clothes smaller then a size 4?
- Do you ever eat?
- Are you a professional entertainer?
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” most likely, displaying your butt crack is not attractive. It may have been titillating a few years back, but as average waistlines continue to grow and the shock value drops it is a fashion trend that needs to go the way of the leg-warmer. Something still worn by a few sad, misguided individuals but not something to be seen on a day to day basis.
What most of us saw at the 2007 MTV music awards.
Repatriate 