A pox on your intertubes!

Spent a long time today putting together a long post with pictures and comments plus a slide show, but for some reason I borked all of the pictures while uploading them. So instead here is a link to a buddy of mine from Australia`s blog. He and his better half had an epic four and a half month journey around Europe.

The post card C and I sent her dad from the Vatican finally arrived here today. God does move in mysterious ways, and when it comes to mail, apparently he takes his sweet time.

Still haven’t received word about my sister fleeing from the San Diego area due to the fires, and canceled classes. But while I have been searching for information on the fire, I have come to one conclusion- The Gen Xers had it right. Don’t believe in any thing, it only causes trouble.

On the one hand you have religious nutters claiming that the fires are the wrath of God in response to some recent legislation. Right. The fundamentalist Christian God (or the Islamic one, neither one them seem to be the sunshine and puppy dogs sort of Deity) comes down from on high to start a fire in a very wealthy, conservative neighborhood while leaving the very flamboyant West Hollywood untouched. Apparently God has terrible aim. (perhaps he has bad eyesight, that would explain the postcard from the Vatican.)

On the other hand you have the environmentalist nutters claiming that the fire is a result of global warming. Obviously the Santa Ana winds only started with global warming, California has never had a drought, and there has never been a major fire before global warming. (The fire of London was probably another cover-up initiated by George W. Bush.)

Here is my theory- the San Diego fire was due to the fact I had a record low number of page views on that day. Had more people been reading my blog, there would be 2,000 families that would not be homeless right now.

Hey, it makes as much sense as the previous two theories.

Then of course are the real jerks who just say “serves em right for living there, they should have moved a long time ago.” My question is where? Tornado alley? The Hurricane Coast? The blizzard covered north east? How about up by earthquake country near San Fran? The Mississippi flood plain? The volcanoes of the north west? Is there anyplace in the U.S. that is not prone to at least one kind of natural disaster?

How about people learn that crappy stuff happens from time to time, and you can either A: Have a heart and do something about it or B: be like me and write sarcastic comments about it on your blog.

A Tribute To: Dragonforce

While C and I are sorting through the nearly 3,000 pictures we took (I am a terrible photographer so I usually take 3-5 shots to get one decent picture.) I thought I would put up a short post on why the metal band Dragonforce just might be the best band since KC and the Sunshine Band.

• Two Words- hair metal.
• Their name is Dragonforce, which as any physicist will tell you, is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. The only force which may come close is the Double-Dog Dare.*
• The lead singer sings in a manly counter-tenor. No sissy falsetto for him!
• At six members they have 1/17th as many members as the Wu-Tang Clan. (which ain`t nothin to #$%& with!)
• Band membership is more international then a Unicef committee.
• They are single-handedly bringing back the Keytaur, a tragic victim of the `80s.
• Super-nintendo inspired melodies and sound effects? check and double check!
• Their songs are between 5 and 7 minutes usually. Radioplayability be damned!
• If you listen carefully, you can actually hear the guitarist`s fingers break the sound barrier.
• The drummer is intent on committing suicide by self-inflicted heart-attack while playing the double-bass.
• The lead singer`s hair reminds one of Weird Al, seven time winner of the sexiest man in the universe competition.
• Their hit songs are more samey then Willy Nelson`s. (It is ironic that people point this out as a negative. Especially since usually the ones that do so don’t like Dragonforce because they dont sound just like Slipknot or Cannibal Corpse. In reality, people like having the same stuff again and again. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have a Mcdonalds on every street corner and you would have to go to Seattle to find Starbucks. But I am pontificating again.)
• And best of all- it pisses of legions of metal-geeks who scream “Its not real heavy metal!” to which I say, just about anything that pisses other people off makes me happy.

Sorry, I have to stop myself before I get started on “underground” music. I do not need the blood-pressure spike. I am trying to relax to even out my sleep cycle again. As an insomniac who normally sleeps about six hours a day, my sleep schedule is easily disrupted. I was up for 40 ish hours coming back from Europe, then I slept for 14, then I was up for 12, slept for 2, then up for 18 hours, then slept for 10.

On the plus side, however, insomnia gives me plenty of time to work on my plans for world conquest.

*While doing research for this article, I pressed a ph.d candidate in physics as to which force is actually stronger, the Dragonforce or the Double Dog Dare. He replied that as far as science is concerned, that is a question best left up to the gods and philosophers, being beyond the ken of mortal men.